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Archive for the ‘General’


Article Jibberish Autospam 0

Posted on September 30, 2009 by noncon
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I’m aware of automatic article generating tools that rewrite articles and exist in order to prevent being penalized by the search engines for duplicate content, in the case of submitting the articles to many sites (or to change stolen articles). And after seeing some of the results that these tools produce, I’m not in favor of any of them, even if I were to use them ethically.

I’ve stumbled upon several low quality sites that are spewing out this crap, but most were in the day that you could make one-page jibberish sites and earn a small fortune just from people clicking on the ads. I even found an awful, jibberish site by a highly respected marketing guru (although I’ve since learned of this person’s feet of clay) who claimed (when looking for a great vacation destination), “…you can’t go past London” - (you can’t beat London).

A quick “phrase match” search to see if the site still exists, tells me it doesn’t, but proves that the person wasn’t the only one using that same crap article generator tool.

Today I got a very long spam comment on this blog ( I have to install Akismet – I just haven’t got my API key yet) and apart from the huge list of medication I was kindly provided with, the article has to be seen to be believed. Not only has it clearly been through one of these incompetent  ‘word machines’, but I’m not convinced the original author even knows the English language.

If you’re not familiar with these types of articles, they work (or not) by a thesaurus tool replacing certain words for alternative words that are supposed to mean the same thing. But as we all know, the English language ain’t that simple, is it? For example; I’m guessing that “go danger medical notice” should actually read:  “seek urgent medical attention”.

Here’s an edited version of the article:

Obtain [PRODUCT NAME REMOVED] positively as it was prescribed also in behalf of you. Do not steal it in larger doses or looking for longer than recommended close your doctor.

Pocket each dispense with a full glassware of water.

[PRODUCT NAME REMOVED] can be captivated with or without food.

[PRODUCT NAME REMOVED] is normally bewitched not when needed, yon 60 minutes ahead sex activity. The medication can escape effect an erection when genital stimulation occurs. An erection determination not chance very recently by bewitching a pill. Flow your doctor’s instructions.

Do not terminate [PRODUCT NAME REMOVED] more than once a day. Countenance 24 hours to pass between doses. Phone your doctor or go danger medical notice if your erection is exacting or lasts longer than 4 hours. A prolonged erection (priapism) can check compensation the penis. Keep [PRODUCT NAME REMOVED] at room temperature away from moisture and heat.

Who’d Be A Celebrity? 0

Posted on September 28, 2009 by noncon
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It only occurred to me today that bad press isn’t the only downside to fame. You and I can choose to go to a funeral, or choose not to. But if you’re a celebrity, you get a truck load of grief (pun intended) if you don’t go to an old colleague’s funeral, even if there is a legitimate reason for not going.

Diana Ross, Elizabeth Taylor and Madonna were all heavily criticized for not going to Michael Jackson’s memorial service. In fact I read about this type of criticism all the time. There’s always someone whinging about who’s snubbed whose funeral.

Peter O’Toole is the latest victim of this phenomenon, as he didn’t go to the funeral of Keith Waterhouse. He says it was a private funeral, and that he is going to the memorial service. Read more Here.

How many people do we meet over a lifetime? And the older we all get (if we’re lucky and outlive our peers), the more funerals we find ourselves going to.

Celebrities almost certainly meet a lot more people than the rest of us. I mean, think about it – if someone of O’Toole’s age and status were to pay their respects to everyone they ever worked with, they’d have to be at a funeral every single week!

Whether there’s a legitimate reason or not, it’s no-one else’s business which funerals they go to. The average funeral attendee hasn’t spoken to the deceased for years anyway. Showing your love and respect to a person during their lifetime should be more important than turning up out of obligation once they’re dead.

Mac The Hamster Cage 0

Posted on September 19, 2009 by noncon
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imachamstercageDon’t use a mouse with your computer – use a hamster!

A great way to monitor a hamster would be to house it inside a monitor. In this case, an old iMac. Ebay user ak_drummer wants $350 for this glued together contraption, but whether anyone wants to pay that much is another matter.

It’s not got an awful lot of room has it? To me that’s like a human permanently living in one of those two berth 8ft caravans. A novel idea, but I hope no-one actually buys it. The guy should keep it for his own hamster just to vacation in occasionally. What do you think?

Jaz and Keith 8 0

Posted on September 02, 2009 by noncon
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The Revolution (part 3)

Jaz and Keith are going places. Not.

Big Spiders 4

Posted on August 29, 2009 by noncon
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BigSpider

The other day my heart nearly stopped. I’m not usually scared of spiders, but this one was a huge spider (for round here anyway) – it was easily 7 – 10cm in diameter (including legs), and it moved very fast too.

The spider unnerved me as it was on the wall next to my bed when I first saw it. I did not fancy my chances of not having a heart attack, should it decide to use any part of my body as terrain while I slept, so I decided to remove it from my flat. I had no intention of killing it, so I captured it by putting a container over it, while placing a post card underneath. I found an empty sugar jar and was able to photograph it before taking it outside and releasing it in the woods.

No doubt people in other countries will think it laughable that a three inch spider is such an unusual sight, but here in the UK it’s not so common indoors (apart from the Daddy Longlegs). The spider’s legs by the way are not yellow or green – they are reflecting the yellow of the tape measure in the photo.

Large spiders fascinate me. I’m sure small spiders would too, but we can see the anatomy much better on larger ones, so I can never resist photographing interesting looking spiders. Here is another spider I saw a few weeks ago. It was smaller in total size, but had a larger body than the one that wanted to live with me. It was approximately 4cm long (including legs).

I haven’t been able to find out what type of spider either one is. But if anyone knows I’d love to hear from you. Just click on the speech bubble at the top to leave a comment, thanks.

OrangeSpider

Jaz and Keith are making a splash 0

Posted on August 27, 2009 by noncon
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I just got off the phone from a friend who has not yet seen any of my animated videos (I thought I’d bullied – emailed everyone about them)

So I told him to type Jaz and Keith into YouTube, and he asked “Would I find them if I typed them into Google?” I thought he might have to search through hundreds of other sites, but when I looked myself, this is what I saw:

JazandKeithinGoogle

So the top three sites for ‘Jaz and Keith’ are YouTube, Xtranormal and Noncon4mist – cool!

I expect it has something to do with the fact that Jaz is not a common name (especially not together with Keith!) which is why I’ve picked relatively unusual names for my new series of animated videos too; Melody and Sabrina.

In other Jaz and Keith news; Episode 3 has been seen by over 38,000 people!

JazandKeith38000views

And most people seem to like it. Some people have commented that they like the whole series, which is always encouraging. I have now upgraded to the paid account in Xtranormal, so I have access to a lot more characters, backgrounds and voices. And premium members also get to download STATE the animation software for free, which I will do when they release their new version soon.

Jaz and Keith 7 0

Posted on August 26, 2009 by noncon
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The Revolution (part 2)

Jaz and Keith are not quite themselves.

Boyfriend Girlfriend 4 0

Posted on August 25, 2009 by noncon
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Soulmates Forever

There’s not much these two haven’t been through together.

Dragon Not Naturally Singing 0

Posted on August 24, 2009 by noncon
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Ever used Dragon Naturally Speaking for dictating your muses and turning them into text?

I wondered how well it would take to singing, after it spewed out some gobbledegook after I started singing, forgetting I still had my mike on. Answer: not very well.

Well that’s not entirely fair. It seems to like mod and new-wave better than warbling ballads.
Or rather; words, as opposed to noises!

emot5Here are a few examples of genuine Dragon penmanship, when suffering a duet with yours truly:




“Down in the Chew Station at midnight all will will don’t want to go down this in no will will”
=
Down in the Tube Station at midnight oh ooh ooh ooh ooh oh
Don’t want to go down in the Tube Station at midnight oh ooh ooh ooooh ooh

Down in the Tube Station – The Jam
4/10
Not bad. I probably did sing ‘Chew’ in the haste of the song.




“Here in my car I feel safest of I can knock on my door is it the young and well in in car has been good and”
=
Here in my car I feel safest of all, I can lock all my doors. It’s the only way to live in cars – da da da da.

Cars – Gary Numan
4/10
“Da da da da” sounds like “been good and”? Well it got the first eight words correct! Perhaps I overdid it when trying to sing the synth part.




“and now a knee and I will live alone will win easily in the”
=
And I-ee-I will always love you-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

I will always love you – Whitney Houston
1/10
I think there’s a freudian message in there somewhere – “…I will live alone will win easily…”
Does that mean people who live alone win arguments easily?




We wrongly they are mainly is moving Echo submarine and there has been re-and in the Ryanair is a fair submarine compares with… (Dragon gave up processing further)
=
We all live in yellow a submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine…

Yellow Submarine – The Beatles
2/10
“Ryanair is a fair submarine”, eh? – better tell them they’re in the wrong business.




Yes, I realize I’m giving my age away with these songs – I’ll throw Lilly Allen into the Dragon mix next time. That’ll be nice for her.



Jaz and Keith 6 0

Posted on August 21, 2009 by noncon
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The Revolution (Part 1)

Each of our boys are wondering why the other never changes his clothes.

Moving Images 0

Posted on August 20, 2009 by noncon
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Triple-Spiral-Labyrinth-animated

Sea-Sickness

Which of the animated gifs above do you like best?

I like the spirals best. Actually, that is the only right answer. Not because I insist you agree with me, but because it is the only animated gif * out of the two. The other is a still image. What? You think it’s moving? Had a little drink, have we?

The optical illusion works by using specific colors with black edges and white edges in relation to each other, and is known as anomalous motion illusion.

Still don’t believe me? OK, look right in the center. It should stop moving. It didn’t with me because I can’t keep my dyslexic eyes still, but it did slow it down a lot! So now you might be able to stagger home without falling.

* prounced GIF,  not JIF – (that drives me crazy!)  – It’s short for Graphics Interchange Format. You wouldn’t say “Giraffics Interchange Format”, would you?  OK, maybe you would.

First image Triple Spiral Labyrinth (animated) by AnonMoos
Second image: Sea Sickness; an anomalous motion illusion by Walter Anthony

Sick Doctors 2

Posted on August 20, 2009 by noncon
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riffraff-doctor

Riffraff, Doctor and Beloved Stethoscope

The NHS is planning to improve working conditions for workers in an attempt to reduce the epidemic of sickness rates among staff. Read more Here.

They’re wasting their time. I used to work for the NHS and when doctors insist on wearing stethoscopes round their necks, while in the canteen eating their lunch, it’s clear that sickness goes very deep.

Do they not have access to bags, pockets or lockers?

Does wearing a stethoscope make the doctor’s food taste better?

Do they think the chef might need a checkup?

(OK so it was a teaching hospital, with newly qualified doctors, but alas, it was not only the newbies that wore the stethoscopes).

Are they so insecure that they feel they have to stand out from the riffraff? It wasn’t everyone, of course. In fact a lot of surgeons found it as funny as I did that so many doctors felt the need to do this. I wondered if perhaps surgeons were immune from this affliction, being known as Mister or Mrs, instead of Doctor!

No wonder the staff are taking sickies in their droves. When the disease of self importance (read self loathing) spreads throughout a hospital, it can only create more stress among staff, due to abuse of power.

Stethoscopes are comfort blankets for these poor souls and it could well be the stricken patients who are the healthiest creatures in the place.



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